I have nothing fabulous to say. On the workout front, I finished up my 12 week boot camp with the marines and then did a 6 week summer one to keep me in the swing of things. Ever since that ended I've been trying to maintain my muscle tone and keep the running fresh for when things ramp up really really soon. :-) I am both excited and nervous to start building the mileage again. It's such a fun journey but you never know what you're going to get out of it. I mainly just yearn for those crazy long runs, I never really had so much solace in my life than during those times. I'm craving my time with the Charleston heat...I say this now and will regret it later, haha.
Anyways, just a lot on my mind lately. There is always a transition period when people leave your life and unexpectedly, new people file in. I think a lot about circumstance and chance. I wish I could talk more about it on here but even though I had a crazy childhood, I don't think I've lived any more difficult a life than most. Although, when I'm around a lot of people who had plenty more opportunities than I did growing up, it makes me think. I wonder, would I ever change any of it? Well yes, some aspects I absolutely would but in other aspects, no, not at all. I can't help but think that every experience in life gives you a perspective and insight into an area of life you've never had before. Our lives are so parallel and more often than not, we're just looking to be accepted and appreciated for who we are and what we've done.
I find that in any given day, the people I encounter just want someone to listen to them and hear their story. I am so grateful to have been able to cultivate my listening skills at an early age and be that person for many wandering souls. On the flip side, I have wonderful friends who are my listeners. I have learned to grow a voice from them in a trusting environment and not hide behind my fears and doubts. In so many aspects my friends help me to "pay it forward". They listen to me so that I can in turn listen to others. I get frustrated that I'm not a better listener for my friends sometimes. I'm a little biased, but my close friends are truly like family members to me. We may grow apart physically and sometimes not speak for weeks, but when we finally have a conversation it's like we never missed a beat. I thank the powers-that-be (circumstance? chance? fate?) for these people every day.
Which brings me to my closing paragraph, because I don't want to get much more serious today, just want to get some thoughts out in this space. It's funny how those "powers-that-be" somehow bring me back full circle, right back to the very beginning. It's almost like I am being allowed the chance to change some things about my past. To take a situation that I didn't deal so well with before and deal with it again, but with different people and places. Almost like a "do-over" but 10 times better because I have perspective, wonderful friends, and a new found self awareness. I wish I could tell you how scared I am but I'm also really excited about building a future...one parallel universe at a time.
Cheers to Friday!
Friday, March 29, 2013
Things are so different lately.
Yes, working out is still a priority. Eating healthy is still a priority. The healthy living side of my life is still a priority.
So what's different?
This feeling that I've been having. This feeling, that as my life gets busier, I might actually love it. Well, yes, I love my life. I have a pretty awesome thing going on right now, but that's not what I meant. I love being busy. Insane, right? Would anyone actually love being ridiculously busy all the time? Right now, I actually do. So maybe one day I might not say that and maybe one day (like in 3 weeks or so) I'll want to slow way down. But right now, as long as I maintain the healthy living side of my life, the busy side just augments the positives in my life. I'm too busy to worry about the things that used to bother me about myself. I know that I've traveled a long journey with my soul and that for the most part I have to accept myself for who I am. I know that not everyone will see you for who you are, but you should continue to be the person you are despite how others view you.
It's so easy to get bogged down in everything. It also amazes me when something is truly important to me, I'll place those thoughts above any others in my head, no matter how much I shouldn't be thinking about them. The brain is such a powerful and intriguing tool to me. I have so much empathy for everyone that I meet that sometimes I have difficulty knowing when to walk away from the troubles that they have that I want to take on as my own. Have you read this paragraph? It's not making much sense but hang on a second and I think it will come together.
What I'm trying to say, and not so eloquently, is that this blog is changing. I've never been good with blog themes. I prefer to just be real, off the cuff, and say what I need to say when I need to say it. You never know when someone is reading what you wrote and thinking that they are just so happy to know that they're not "alone" in their feelings.
So for now, I'll just say that this is where I stand.
There are plans for a fall half marathon in the works, where I plan to race my little heart out and sub 2 the half. However, realistically speaking, I'll really just be running to keep myself sane during the fall. This girl, right here, always needs a plan for something to keep moving forward. Plans are just plans - they get you somewhere but it doesn't always end up being where you intended or even thought you would ever be. That's this crazy thing called "life" for you! :-)