Friday, June 28, 2013

More musings on emotional well-being...

I have nothing fabulous to say. On the workout front, I finished up my 12 week boot camp with the marines and then did a 6 week summer one to keep me in the swing of things. Ever since that ended I've been trying to maintain my muscle tone and keep the running fresh for when things ramp up really really soon. :-) I am both excited and nervous to start building the mileage again. It's such a fun journey but you never know what you're going to get out of it. I mainly just yearn for those crazy long runs, I never really had so much solace in my life than during those times. I'm craving my time with the Charleston heat...I say this now and will regret it later, haha.

Anyways, just a lot on my mind lately. There is always a transition period when people leave your life and unexpectedly, new people file in.  I think a lot about circumstance and chance. I wish I could talk more about it on here but even though I had a crazy childhood, I don't think I've lived any more difficult a life than most. Although, when I'm around a lot of people who had plenty more opportunities than I did growing up, it makes me think. I wonder, would I ever change any of it? Well yes, some aspects I absolutely would but in other aspects, no, not at all. I can't help but think that every experience in life gives you a perspective and insight into an area of life you've never had before. Our lives are so parallel and more often than not, we're just looking to be accepted and appreciated for who we are and what we've done.

I find that in any given day, the people I encounter just want someone to listen to them and hear their story. I am so grateful to have been able to cultivate my listening skills at an early age and be that person for many wandering souls. On the flip side, I have wonderful friends who are my listeners. I have learned to grow a voice from them in a trusting environment and not hide behind my fears and doubts. In so many aspects my friends help me to "pay it forward". They listen to me so that I can in turn listen to others. I get frustrated that I'm not a better listener for my friends sometimes. I'm a little biased, but my close friends are truly like family members to me. We may grow apart physically and sometimes not speak for weeks, but when we finally have a conversation it's like we never missed a beat. I thank the powers-that-be (circumstance? chance? fate?) for these people every day.

Which brings me to my closing paragraph, because I don't want to get much more serious today, just want to get some thoughts out in this space. It's funny how those "powers-that-be" somehow bring me back full circle, right back to the very beginning. It's almost like I am being allowed the chance to change some things about my past. To take a situation that I didn't deal so well with before and deal with it again, but with different people and places. Almost like a "do-over" but 10 times better because I have perspective, wonderful friends, and a new found self awareness. I wish I could tell you how scared I am but I'm also really excited about building a parallel universe at a time.

Cheers to Friday!

No comments:

Post a Comment